I was born and raised in a town in the city of New York, with population 175,000. When i born and raised. I remember as a child, when a person is born, parent is supposed to care of the baby, and treat them with love and care of them. As I remember, my childhood was, it was ok, sometimes, it was bullshit, and why people have to be a asshole, sometimes they don't care of their child, they are just selfish greedy. By don't care, they are being self-advantage just leaving the baby by itself in a room. probably it all about money? As i remember, back then, i saw as a baby that people were smoking on the street, by smoking on the street. You know; you will catch lung cancer and die soon, by don't know when I will die catch lung cancer.
As i remember when i was age of 5 I remember; I played video games.
playing toys doll and playing cars. As when i was age of 5. I had communication with my mom, dad and sister very well. Life was easy when i was age of 5. As when I was age of 6. My mom notify me, when you get older, life will not be easy, you will be adult be fully responsibility. As i did or able to communicate. with my sister. Let countdown the clock to where i will be at 4 years from now. I remember when I was 9 years old. I was living in a era what domestic violence exist family fight happen, hitting their child or hitting their baby. how that happen? I remember as a child. As i feeling like as I was abandoned. I get no gift or no nothing and it feel like i was living in a street wearing no clothes, just bare naked, and no nothing. I don't remember but if i do? That i was crying a lot . As I
can tell as my anger i was coming out when i was age of 9, why i want to hit my parents. No child never hit their parents. Due to the world i was living, all people don't care, we just do what we want, we do not care if that child die. too. That is where my anger is rising up, people or parent have no moral leadership they don't want to give their child a gift, what a snowflake, those parents who i were living with, are worse. Why, that i was thinking to myself? Is it my color of skin, or they never want to have baby boy. Just baby girl. I wish, I was a woman I remember in my childhood, i was threatened and assaulted. By living in those memories, thinking about to myself, maybe being born as boy was a mistake, it had taken me time to realize, maybe. when i figure out that I was not supposed to be born as a boy, I realize. I was supposed to be as a girl, not a boy. Being born as a boy I won't get things what I want. That is not fair (in a child mood talk). when I was a child, I was realized I was supposed to born as a girl. I remember I was playing with my sister. My sister had tried me wearing girl clothes in a dress, i did not understand why I wear girl clothes in a dress, i felt like i was a real woman and my sister put me lipstick, to see how I look. I am girl clothes to see how i look, I saying to my head maybe i look cute wearing girl clothes. At least my parent did not know i was wearing girl clothing, As that i will remember i am wearing girl clothes, i will never think about changing gender to women, maybe one day, I would realize , I was not supposed to be as a men. I was supposed to be born as women. As we think going after what will be like 5 years later. I remember i was living in a place, Where domestic abusive were at worse place, i never get along with people who i live with. There is fight break lose, I never get along. To do this, I dont even get along with my parent, that not cool. Is it my childhood, my parent could even give me anything, As fight happen in rhe place i live . I never get along with the people who i live, but why? Is it because how the way i was treated? or taking medicine, that will change my mood? I can say 2 parts, when i was fighting the family over something, when i child. I got a bruise mark, my hand and my face. like short sentence , when i go to school next day , the teacher saw my face , I got briuse mark . She ask , who hit you i said my mom. that time i was age 10. the teacher called , child adoption center , i can be place in adoption center , place with the right family. the ACS ( adoption children service ask my mom) why did you hit your children? I dont remeber . short answer. They dont listen. ACS said. If I find you hurt you children? I will take away your child place them ACS.
and final part here i am in 20 years later. still living with family ,, that never care, they care if i die. they can live a good life. these people are criminal i repeat i can tell , they want their child sucide themselves and die. That parent move their life. I will blame karen (women with no name) destroy my life . she just want me to die. so i can kill myself move on with my life stay in heaven and angel. How can karen destroy my life, and my worse john doe ( male a father no name) want their child die. shame on them . If i die from suicide. I will say to heaven , why did place a parent i was born in a women stomach she is worse? That women will never be welcome in heaven. Unfortunately non fiction world I had sucide myself. When that worse mother mine , find out i sucide myself.. In untrue told comment. she took my dead body . place on the street. where no one dont know how a child die. who that child ? who is this child parent belong to? By end of the day. That karen ( women with no name ) went to jail killing their son. But after i go to heaven I will remember . i was born in women stomach , she want me to be dead , she is greedy and selfish.
